Monday, June 20, 2011

calling my father

i did it.  on father's day i called the man who's sperm created me (that somehow sounds more appropriate than dad).

it was akward.  i was not a fan of ths call.  we tried to catch up (it has been a year since we last spoke), and talk about the recents of our lives-without being specific or personal.

and then when i thought the worst would happen.. he brought up the wedding, and how displeased he was with the whole event.  I braced myself for the conversation about to take place.  I was ready.  At least it would be over the phone so all emotions could be masked.  nope.  he said he wants to drive down to cincinnati, to our house and talk about it.  He is looking for a time.  He is hoping to do it this summer.  maybe before mid july. 

I had finally gotten my courage up and was ready for it- thanks to the fact that i would be hinding behind my cell phone- but no, he's going to drive 4 hours to have this chat face to face.  he wants to chat about the wedding, and where we stand, and what we want the futire to look like.  it will be a lot harder to tell him that i just want him out of my life when he drove down to my house.

looks like i get to continue to dread this conversation- but hey at least i called him!


  1. Wow -- What a tough convo to have to have. I pray your continued conversation goes as you want it to.

  2. *hugs* so very difficult...what if you told him that you weren't prepared (ready? interested?) in him coming to see you and you're more comfortable discussing anything he wants to say over the phone?

  3. Sending hugs and prayers out to you! I know this was the one thing you were hoping wouldn't happen. Is there any way to convince him to keep that conversation to the phone rather than face-to-face?


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