the next chapter, pt1

today begins the next chapter of our lives for me.  I will be moving back with my parents tonight.  I hadn't put a lot of thought into this step until early this morning.  Hubby needs his sleep so I am waiting to get started on my activities for another hour.  This gave me time to 1) finish my book that I must return today, 2) think/ try to process. 

I want to shout from the rooftops what is going on.  Tell everyone that I am moving home, and talk about this big step.  But I can't.  I still don't know that this is for sure.  I still don't actually have a job.  It's not something that I can say for sure yet- not until I know for sure.  Anticipation for tomorrow's meeting (as I have decided to call it) is building- exponentially. 

Today I am going to finish as many tasks as possible after leaving what has been my first home- my church here.  When hubby returns from work around 6 we will eat pizza, enjoy our last few moments together, then pack up my car with as many things as will fit (the pile is already in the livingroom- taunting me).

photo taken on photobooth- there are tons of things behind that big shelf too

Tears fill my eyes as I realize he won't be there to hold my hand, or help me though this next huge step.  He won't be there for me to return home to and just curl up with.  I am so sorry for you military wives, my heart breaks when he is not near me.  You all may feel free to stop reading, because I realize I am selfish.  In January we had to spend 3 weeks apart, and I wept every night by the 3rd week.  It will only be about 2 weeks that we are apart, but they are some of the biggest two weeks of my life thus far.  In these 2 weeks I will 1)get a teaching contract, 2)sign a lease for our new home 3) set up my classroom for the first time 4) attend tons of meetings and planning things 5) meet the families I will have 6) have my first 4 days with students in class for the school year!  These may seem small, but in my small world they are huge steps for me.

I am so grateful to be able to be at this point.  To be able to be this close to a teaching position, full time- my first full year out of college, and at an awesome district.  And I am grateful that I have family who will take me in, provide for me, and give me all of the love and support i can take- no matter how close are far they are from me.

Today my facebook page is riddled with journeys of people starting the next step of life (marriage, leaving home for a teaching position, going on sabbatical for a year to teach around the world.. etc)  For some reason it is so comforting to know that I am not alone in this, and that we get to take this journey together.

brain is powering down

Well, yestrday was eventful for me- but not for you all, so we'll be brief: (or skip ahead)

1) paniced and missed an entire night's sleep (literally) over some missing papers (to be fair I would not have a job without these)
2) dog ate a 5 dollar bill- and that just sucked
3) Hubby got up and ready for wrk- and reassmened enough of the bill to get a replacement- score!
4) call mom, she thinks she has one set of papers
5) get copies of the papers e-mailed to me from my amazing supervisor from my university (and then several pep talks from all profs there)
6) took puppy to Petsmart- always an adventure
7) Packed what I would wear for the next 2.5 weeks
8) went to work
9) lost the families dogs (oh, and it was my last day)
10) get everyone back in the house safe
11) get off 9 hours later- a bit late, leave for the last time and head straight to church without stopping for food- had not eaten yet that day)
12) run like a chicken with my head cut of for our version of VBS from 6 to 10
13) get home, talk to hubby for 15 minutes then begin packing
14) forced to stop packing when hubby wants to go to bed at 12:30
15) wide awake- not ready for bed, looks like another night of fun. (enter sarcasm)

Going on day 3 without sleep, some of the biggest 3 days of life.  Thus I am just sharing from Pintresting Finds.

perfect for us! with all the places we have been!  too bad we wrote all over our maps

great idea!  new place has a long stairway form the entry- might write out our last name like this!

too amazing to comment

just a bit of adorableness to make your heart melt (tenfold)

Hope you enjoyed!

The next time I post will hopefully be after my interview... unless I have another sleepless night before it ;)  I am praying that the next post will include some info about teaching and starting my life as a Teacher!!

ulcers, insamnia, and good books!

Here is the dealio.  Hubby and I spent all of yesterday apartment hungin around our 'soon to be new city.  We found one- we fell in love- we placed a deposit- but we can't sign the lease!  Curious..

I have to Interview with the Board/ HR for the position.  Although it used to be that once a principal made his or her recommendation for a position the new teacher would meet with HR discuss the paperwork and that would be it- this is not our case.  This is a highly prestigious district and they take hiring very seriously.  I still do not have a guarantee of a job- nor will I until at the earliest Monday afternoon! 

Unfortunately work starts Monday Morning.  Did I mention that Hubby and I live 2 and a half hours away from this place right now.  Or that we have yet to pack up our home. 

Needless to say, I have not slept a full night in weeks- nor more than an hour in days!  My stomach aches- and is beyond knots!  I am hoping that once I am officially hired, get to see this classroom, meet the other teachers,  and sign our lease (all of which I hope get done on Monday)- I will be able to have one nights peaceful sleep as I spend at least a week living with my parents while the people I love care for me so I can focus on the school year.

One major glitch.  I received today the list of materials I need to bring with me on Monday if I do get hired.  One of these are my official Praxis scores (which my university and 2 state's DOE have).  However, I could not find them in our house.  I do not remember ever receiving a paper copy of them.  Even if i did the odds are good that they were destroyed by moving, or simply thrown away by Hubby on accident.  (He is not a pack rat, and throws away all non necessary items he finds- which have included bank statements and bills he hates clutter!)  I e-mailed all of my professors my problem.  The only solution I can think of is to get someone who has access to those files into that office and me drive back up to my university (3 hours away) then drive back down in time for the interview at 1- eek!

via

Last night I watched the sun set as I drove back to our first home for one of the last times.  And I watched the sun rise.  I am hoping for more than 1 hours sleep tomorrow.  Good thing I have an amazing good to read!  Secret Daughter, check it out on amazon.  It is the first book in a year that I have been able to stick with!  The next time you have a chance to sit down in read (or can't sleep for more than one hour a night) get this book!  It will not disappoint!

via

in other new- while writing this at 6am- my puppy ate a 5 dollar bill.  FML!

whatcha gonna do- and a pants on the floor remix

Dear teachers and parents- I have a gem for you today!!  I was on this blog and the teachers there mentioned a few of the class favorites when it came to songs that they played after calendar time- i watched, i learned, i laughed, and i loved

and now here is your chance.  The name of the creator is HarryKindergarten and these are true gems!  Next time you are on youtube look up HarryKindergarten!!!!

Here is the link to Whatch gonna do? (count by 2's, 5's and 10's)

And here is the link to Coins in my hand (aka pants on the floor)

Be aware- I am not switching to being a teaching blog- but 1st grade research and ideas where all over my head yesterday!  So have pity on my post ;)

**Update form my last post.  I do not officially have the job yet.  I still have to interview with HR/the Board.  I was hoping to have this done tomorrow, but I am still waiting on the call.  I cannot enter that classroom (or begin curriculum training) until that is processed!  Pray this goes quickly!  I plan on moving in with my parents sunday night- The hubby will follow later. **

the wait is over...

In the past 3 days I have gotten 9 phone calls from various principals, set up 3 interviews, had a phone interview, was offered a part time job--- and then this morning a new call came.

It was the principals who have been passing my name around.  They have a full time position open- and wanted to know if I would accept it.

It's full time, 1st grade.  I freaked out- I asked for time to think about it.  They were really sad that I was not excited about this and (kind of )started looking into who they would ask next.  I had from 9 until 12 to decide.  I woke up my hubby (who was out until 3 with some guys from work-- his weekend is Tues/Wed) and we talked.  And we prayed.  And I cried.  I love 4th and 5th grade- their attitudes, spunk, personality, independence- love it.  1st grade- I just don't know. 

I called my mom.  Hubby tried to help think this through but i needed someone who knew education.  Our conversation was really a pros and cons list.

I love the principals. We are on the same page. I am with the vision of the school.  It is one of the most impressive districts in IN.  There will be tons of support from parents and faculty alike. These people have been going to bat for me for a year.  1st grade isn't so bad curriculmn wise when a furst grasde etacher needs to establish new lesson plans (easlier to work with addition than algebraic equations).

Teaching literacy will be a challenge, however- these kids all went to Kindergarten.  1st grade teachers are known for being young, fun, and full of energy- well that's me!  I fit.  After 40 minutes, many tears, and a small anxiety attack, I called back and accepted the position.  I never applied for this, I interviewed once at this school (pretty common to have 4 in this district due to the competitiveness).

So our next adventure- The young and married 1st grade teacher! 

PS- all teachers- I would love tips on how to organize the room, things that are a must have, and tips for the beginning of the year- school starts in 11 days!!!!!  (and I don't even live in the city state yet!)

jesus fed 5000, then a village

A long long time ago a large group of 5,000 men gathered to hear a man speak.  The man told his friends to feed these people.  They looked shocked, and said "but we only have a few fish and a few loaves of bread- how are we suppose to do that!" Well, that day the LORD provided.  They broke the bread, and passed everything around.  Everyone was fed- and there was a plethora of food leftover!  The LORD our GOD provided!

Flash forward a couple thousand years to 2006.  Hubby was serving with YWAM (Youth With A Mission).  He studied in Australia, then went to serve Vanuatu.  He was a missionary using his gifts of music, dance, storytelling, and preaching- along with a ton of physical labor.  There were 5 of them serving there.  They lived in a small hut- the boys slept  outside at night, and the girls in the hut. 

He celebrated his birthday while serving in this village.  The people serving with him gathered up some special fruits and such and planned to play games that night to celebrate. It would be a small affair- but these young adults (ages 18-22) had nothing but each other. 

Somehow the people in the village found out that it was his birthday.  At first it was just a few of the kids that came by most nights- and the missionaries shared what they had (a couple pieces of candy).  Then a few families showed up.  Then a few more.  Then the village was there- the entire village was at their hut.  They came at the meal time (pretty traditional), but no one had anything to eat.  A cake appeared, it must have been from a villager, but no one is really sure.  But what really surprised people was that everyone ate, no one was hungry, there was food enough for all.  And there was food left over.  How did this group of 5 missionaries have food enough to feed the village and then have some left over... well they gave it to GOD, and the rest is trust.

His Birthday- the boy showing off his food!

I am not making this story up.  At first these 5 shared this story with everyone they met because they were so amazed at the power of Christ.  But no one seemed to believe them, and slowly this oddity became something they kept to themselves. 

It's time to share this story.  Miracles do still happen.  God is Almighty, All Powerful.  He fed 5,000, He fed a village, he can feed you.

Harry Potter- It all ends (no spoilers)

Well the last time (which was the first time ever) I did a Harry Potter related post I lost followers!  So here's to hoping that you stick with me through this one.  I am not a fanatic, and don't plan on having any other posts on HP- but Hubby is in love- so who knows.

Last Monday night Hubby, Father-in-law, and I went to see the newest, and last HP film in Imax 3D.  It was really great.  I tried so hard to avoid hearing anything- I muted the tv and closed my eyes for all interviews the week leading up, I did not get on facebook for 5 days, and did not log onto any websites with pop culture references.  I also had to be careful about bloggy posts (one 'friend' was writing a post on a wedding then just busted out the very last minutes of the film/ book without warning.. before the movie came out- me= pissed).  This was the time of my life in which I found Pintrest.  :)

To get into the spirit of things I was going to make a shirt.  However, I am not a huge HP fan- I still have not read the books in the past decade (I read the 1st one when it came out in 5th grade).  So I thought it might be a little much.  But I did make a headband from 30 cents worth of fabric!

my look for the outing, I am obsessed with scarves

the headband

so that you can read the clever pun ;)

What did you think? 

Did it serve the book well?  

We went to DQ to 'discuss' the film after.  

Hubby and his dad were analyzing like it was a report!  So funny!


** on a side note, the baby I Nanny hit his head in his playpen and now has a crooked z shaped mark on his forehead, the exact same spot as Harry Potter- I find this hilarious.  (He's fine by the way)**

you can't really see the zigzag here- just the red area around it :(

What I'm wearing

Ok, I am not a fashinista.  My mom still dresses me most of the time- she has great style.  However, last week I got together with a friend to do some shopping and I actually put thought into my outfit.  This was the result...

paired with some sperry's, Puppy was more interested in Rachael Ray

Since the other was blurry- a bit closer up

I used this fancy new clip to hold my hair back!  Loved the bright accent!

Now the details:

Shirt: Forever 21 (XXI) 3.80

Scarf: Target 3.28 (clearance last year)

Skort: (yes I rocked a skort) Forever 21 (XXI) years ago, Less than 10

Clip- Hand Made (and for sale for 4 dollars!)


PS** My puppy Remy was featured on this blog!! #adorablepuppies

Wavin' the Flag

I should probably set this one up.  I went to college in the middle of nowhere.  There was 1 street, and there was 1 place in town (and icecream place so it worked).  The closet thing to a town was a walmart, and it was 30 minutes away.  We didn't have a lot to do in the cornfields, so we made up our fun, and had a ton of traditions.

One of these traditions is called Airband.  It's a lip-syncing contest on steroids.  Groups of students (most of the time about 30+) get together and perform the song.  If there is an instrument in the song, it has to be acted out, every vocal must be done.  And there there is the choreographed dance.  TONS of acts audition- only 10 get in.  and only 1 is chosen as the winner.

Well I wasn't there last year, so I missed this fun.  But I have heard a lot about it.  I finally remembered to look it up while I was at a computer with free time and well- I just had to share,

Enjoy the clip above the the multicultural students (and friends) performing Wavin' the Flag.  And something to note- all those folks holding up flags in the front row- yeah, those are the countries of which they are from!  There are tons of nationalities represented in this tiny school.  All flags being waved are of countries represented there.

frustration

why?  why am I not good enough?  why do we have to go through this?  why is this not over yet?  why do more things keep adding on?

I am frustrated.  I am sick of waiting for calls that never come.  I am tired of everyone telling me that I am great, their top choice- then not hiring me.  I am tired of telling my friends, family and employers- "i don't know".  I'm tired of not knowing when or where we are moving, and living day to day waiting on phone calls to get inches closer to an answer.  we  have 10 days left on our lease.  I'm sick of being told, "It will work out".  I'm sick of people telling me "trust in God".  The more I hear it, the less I want to do it.

I am sick of not finding hope in my life.  I see so many things going on in the world around me- and so many changes for others.  But those things happen to other people, and I am left sitting in my partway packed up apartment waiting on phone call just for a second interview.

I am done.  I can't do it any more.  I want to hide in a box and be sent into storage.  Too bad this is real life, and I can't escape it.  My mother now has an incurable disease that she will have to battle as she ages.  My aunt had a baby preterm while her son is miles away and not allowed to come home because his father doesn't want to take him back.  My cousin gets married, pregnant, divorced, and discharged from the army in less than a year.  My family is so far from me- and i need to be there for them.

I don't even find rest in bible verses any more.  It gives me no relief to put it in God's hands, or to wait on Him.  I am angry.  I am frustrated.  And I am lost.  When can I give up all my hopes and dreams for my life?  Is it time to give it all up yet?  Can I just be done?

LEM photo challenge: Soft

Linking up with Live Every Moment for the weekly photo challenge!  Be sure to check out the other entries- there is always something inspirational!

Sorry if you were here earlier- apparently I had the wrong theme (I was a week ahead) so- here is the entry for this weeks theme.  I was going to edit these, but like I said, I did the wrong theme, so these are fresh from the camera (circa 2009).

Soft

Looking up at Corinth (Corinth, Greece)

Looking over the country side from the top of Corinth, Greece

Driving to our ferry to take us to Florence, Italy, love the Grecian mountains

This was from our first trip to Greece, I had to include it!  I love it! 

Welcome to the world little girl!

This is the story of a mommy and her daughter... and the life in between to get there

This teenager was in high school.  She was beautiful and always had the boys attention.  Just a few months before graduation, she finds out she is pregnant.  As much as this kinda sucked at the time, she was not allowed to tell anyone for several months.  See if the word got out, she would be expelled from her Christian school.  So she hid it until the day after graduation when she told her family.  As the pastor's daughter she married the boy a month later in preparation for their new family.  In November she had her son, and by the next year she was going through a nasty divorce. 

She learned how to be a single mom, she learned how to grow up too fast, and she learned how to sacrifice everything for her son.  After a few seriously relationships she met someone who loved her and her son.  He worked to be a better person for her.  A little more time passed and he pledged his life to love her and her son.  He entered into the family and cared for them in ways they never though possible. 

With this new marriage, new house, and new family- things were going well.  It was time for a baby of their own.  The little boy is 11 now, and they have been married for a year.  Things finally fell into place.  They announced at Christmas that they were expecting a baby!!  The baby was due in the mid/end of August.  Everything with the pregnancy went well... until she went into labor preterm.  She had over 4 weeks left... but that baby thought it was time! 

She felt some pain in the night, went to the doc in the morning to check- and found out she was in labor.  A few hours later a baby girl was born.  She is 4lbs 11 oz, and 18 inches long.  Baby Girl is in ICU but doing great!  These parents are so happy!!  And we are so happy for them!!

Her big brother however is in FL with his father- all he wants is to come home and meet his little sister.  We pray he can come home soon, and that a way would be made for it to happen. 

I am so happy for my newest cousin, and so happy for this little girl who will have the most living parents!!  Congrats! 

On this same day we found out that one of my younger cousins is preggo.  We will have a lot of babies come Easter!  The count is up to 4 newborns, 2 more just under 2, and 2 age 4!  Should be fun!!

Oh how pintresting!

Life has been hard latley- hard enough to feel like breakingdown and closing up.  I haven't slept in a long time, and have a lot of health problems that are coming up.  Prayers are good, and in time I will share.  For now, how about something fun and inspiring-

I'm joining up with The Vintage Apple for "Oh how Pintresting!"  Real posts will be making a comeback soon here with the young and married, but for now, let's have some more fun!

feel free to follow me http://pinterest.com/thewhitywife

what would life have been like if?

Romance in a Glance had a post the other day about the decisions we make, and how our paths lead us.  Hubby and I have talked about on many occasions the "what if's".  I also have wondered- what if I wasn't married.

If I didn't get married (when I did) I would have stayed at my university for another year, graduated traditionally with a double major.  I would have moved back in with my parents following that and would now be awaiting my teaching position.  Or maybe I would have moved abroad and had my teaching position lined up a year in advance (Ok with the track I was on, that would have been more likely).  I would no have a dog, or a place of my own.  I would still be the typical 22 year old, and would have way less responsibilities.  I would be able to move anywhere in the world.  But man oh man, would I be lonely.

What if I did not go against my wants and desires, and I went to the party school- I never would have meet him.  I would not have grown into a mature person, I would not have Christ in mind (I know how disciplined I am- I would have forgotten what religion meant if I were not reminded of it daily, or 'forced' to learn more through classes-- which I loved!!)  I made a decision to go to a school which would build me up both academically and spiritually- hoping that socially would come naturally.  I am so happy with this decision.

What if he did the same thing?  What if he did not do a year of missions first?  We would have meet, but he would have been several years ahead of me- not good for our relationship building- freshman/ sr thing I mean.

What if he never had that concussion?  (Many late night conversations have been had on this one over the years)  He would not have gotten up the guts to tell me how he was really feeling.  I would have never have known and told myself to just get over this little crush I was feeling.  We are pretty sure that we would have ended up together anyways based on how our friendship was going- but it would have taken a lot longer, and we would not have gotten married when we did.  In fact our relationship might not have started until a year later when he returned from studying overseas- this would be just 1 year before his graduation.... if we would have reconnected after all that (again, we are pretty sure we would have).  Our guess- we would still not be married.  We wouldn't be ready yet because we experienced so much in those months apart.

yes, the concussion led to this the next day

Our paths seemed crazy at the time.  We could not understand why things were happening.  But God had (well, has) us in His hands.  Our paths of these little things lead us to great things.

There are a million little decisions we make which shape our lives.  We could always ask what if. It is fun at times to think of how things could be different- but it is most important to recognize how things came to be- and how amazing it is that those things happened.  I love my husband, I love our little family, and I love our crazy life together.  Who else in the world could say they are happy for a concussion??

my secret life

of blogging.  I love blogland.  I love that I have 'meet' so many inpirational women, and have been personally challenged by others posts.  I love that I have an outlet to shar emy thoughts and experiences.  I love that you let me brag. 

I also love that this has been uncensored.  Why?  How?  Because blogging is my secet life.  My friends and husband know that I blog- but none of them have ever read it.  Partly because they are there with me for the real life and thus already know what I write about- but partly because I like not censoring.  I can write about things I want to do for my husband without him knowing.  I finally have a place to vent about 'girl issues' and don't have to worry about offending her!!  It has been a freeing experience and has helped me to be more open in real world as well. 

Thank you for this fun journey- it's been almost 6 months, and I have grown because of you!  You are inspiring!  Weather you write about crafts, marriage, love, life, or just something silly to break me away from the screaming babies- you rock!  Thank you for being awesome. And thank you for letting me keep my secret life ;)

interwebz findz

Are you familiar with the lolcats network?  (Failblog, IMMD, LoLcats, Hotdogs, Webinator, and about a million more (or at least 30))  Go there the next time you are bored becuase netflix is notworking, nothing is on tv, you are babysitting, and can't get on facebook to avoid HP hype and leaks.

I thought I would share a few finds from my friday morning- seriously what is there to do at 6am with a sleeping baby in someone else's house?

how great for a 'mom prom'

such a cute idea!!!

adorable

so true!  (i fed these to 10 tots the other day- hilarious!)

i feel like many of you would appreciate this it was Designed by Etsy user Dirtroadsouth

That's me!

these apply in our house ^

bahahaha!  I'll take 20!

at a place where everybody knows your name

things that make you say WTF?!?!  Yes, it was made out of real human hair!

how do you move?

We are so lost, and so overwhelmed!  We still don't know where we are moving too (we probably won't until that week).  We are still living here, and we are putting all of our things in storage while finding a more permanent pace to live.  (We will have a home by september- unless we move to Abu Dabi- then I have no idea.)  

I packed the things I don't need a the moment (teaching stuff, winter clothing)- but most other things we use here and there--- So the quesiton is- HOW DO WE DO IT?  

What order should be pack things up in?  Where should we start?  How have you done it in the past?  What re some tips you have or lessons you have learned?  How did you do it and not spend a ton of money? 

Can you help us? 

suprise bridal shower

a few weeks ago my small group hosted a surprise lingerie shower for one of our ladies who eloped this past spring!  This girl really deserved some special time just for her- and we were determined to make it happen!  It was a fun afternoon filled with food, games, and lots of laughs!

waiting for the bride

my awesomely packaged gift!

laughing during games- which included pictures of our 'celebrity husbands' (my choice was john hamm)

toilet paper roll game/ race

you get the idea

amazing stawberry cake- we also had miosas, cake pops, fruit, and 5 other things!

Our next shower is in just 2 weeks!  Can't wait to celebrate another bride!