seperate holidays in the first year

For Christmas my Hubby and his brother decided they wanted to spend time together.  Problem- one lives in OH and the other in Maine... neither has money.  So, Hubby's big brother decided to ask for a plane ticket so that his little bro could visit him in Maine.

The best way to make plans on the cheap is to do almost everything for free- aka, enjoy the outdoors.  So, the boys decided to wait for the warmer weather to plan the trip.  Now I married into a die hard Red Sox family.  These men love baseball (as do I).  So the big ticket item on this trip to main is to the the Red Sox farm team play.  They are in town over Easter weekend, and over Memorial Day weekend.  Well, Memorial Day weekend is our one year anniversary.  Hubby will not be somewhere else that weekend.  So that leaves Easter.

I know how important this trip is to both of them.  But it will greatly sadden me to go visit my family and do all of the family things without him.  I don't like making that big trip to see all 39 of my family members without him.  I have a few reasons for this- other than simply that he makes everything more fun.

1) I have a very large close knit family.  They are slow to warm up to "outsiders".  They all live in the same tiny town, and most who marry in, are also from the area so the families know each other.  Hubby is at a disadvantage while getting to know the family because we live so far away and only go to the big things.  I desperately want him to be a big part of the big family, and he does too- so every trip matters.

2) It looks bad.  If you have read any of my older posts you have probably noticed my vulnerability in admitting that I do care about what others think.  I remember the times when wives came home without their husbands.  These were not good times.  Most of the time it signaled the end of the relationship, and the other times it just meant that they were fighting.  Being so young, everyone is cautious about this marriage (seeing as everyone in my family is on their second marriage, this makes sense).  I want to show people that we are happy, and how we are succeeding, but it's hard to do when I am sad from missing him.

3) I am different when he is around.  I am much more sheltered closed off quite when he is not around.  I guess timid would be a better word.  He really makes me more outgoing and pushes me to be a better person.  Everyone can relate to being a young adult and going through the transitional stage of the relationship between parent and "child".  It's hard, and taking away my provider really complicates things (As my dad trys to fill that position again, which undermines Hubby)

So what to do- send him or keep him, it won't be my decision to make.

   Hubby just called and we talked about it more- and now the decision in my hands.... I think that is asking a bit much, I have to choose between families?!?!