a calling from the king

Maybe it's my obsession with Ethiopia.  Or, maybe it's my recent over load of work with small children. Or, maybe it can be blamed on the blogs I love.  Whatever it is, God has put something heavy on my heart.

When I was in high school I prayed about the direction God wanted for my life.  He showed me Psalms 78.  "You are commissioned to go and teach the next generation so that they might know the Lord." (Ok so that is a massive paraphrase but I have an odd Bible translation and this is what always stuck with me)  As I have always wanted to be a teacher (a skill I possess)  I was overjoyed but admitted that I did not know exactly what teaching the next generation would look like for me. 

Recently I have been thinking about the orphans that we are all called to love.  I cannot help but to tear up each time I think of them.  I don't know why my stomach turns upside down at the thought, but it does.  I think I am being called to work with the orphans.  I have no idea what that means or what it might look like.  Frankly, this is not something I was hoping for, or am happy about. 

Hubby and I are not planning at this time to have kids of our own.  Raising children is not something we are planning on at the moment, it just seems too far away.  (And at 22, most agree with this sentiment).  I do not even know how to bring up these stirrings with my Hubby.  I am scared to see where these stirrings will take me, but am finally admitting that I feel this way.  And that my friends, is a big step for me.