Wednesday, February 23, 2011

singles vs married

I am in a small group with 8 single 20-somethings, and one engaged.  I really needed to be involved with a group of women when I moved here.  I have been so thankful that they accepted me into their group, lives, and friendship.  Last night there was talk of how challenging it was for some of them to be single in a world where almost all of their friends are married.  I wish I could have spoken up, but it would not have been appropriate.

It is challenging to be married when all your friends are single.  No, I do not feel lonely, or wonder if I will ever be married, or find someone, and I do not suffer from feeling unlovable- but I am lonely.  I do not have people I can talk to about being married.  This is pretty much the only thing I have going on in life at the moment so it is a big deal to me.  I can't say anything to this group that I trust with my prayers- it's not appropriate, and it would be hard to understand.

Sometimes it does make me feel awkward with the group.  They had brought up the fact that they felt bad about being single, and decided to all get together to do something.  Of course I am invited, but I wonder if I should be sometimes.  I'm probably making too much out of this, especially since it would seem that they do not even see me as married most of the time because I do not talk about it alot and only a couple have even met my husband.

Why is it so challenging to make new friends in a new city?  And why is it so challenging to find the young and married?

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way so often! Its so hard to find friends at the same stage of life...J & I either find singles or marrieds w/kids. Both are so different than where we are. I would say the making-new-friends-in-a-new-city-after-marriage has to be one the hardest grown-up pains for me! Praying for you! :)


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